Answers and Insight in Care Giving for Families

Answers and Insight in Care Giving for Families

What do you do with your aging parents? 

What do I need to know before those decisions are made?

What are the issues involved with aging parents? How is this going to affect my life?


This blog is about care giving from the view of a experienced care giver who worked in the system and took care of a family member at home as well for 3 years full time.


My Experience that will benefit you and your family.

From 2000 to 2008 I worked as a professional caregiver in private homes, nursing homes, and independent living facilities. Working in the system I experienced all the good and the bad involved with agencies, institutions, private care, and working with caregivers both wonderful and destructive. These experiences can still bring up anger and sadness as I took care of those in their last years.


Recently I  took care of my father in law who just passed away in April of this year from 2015 through 2018 both at our home and in his own apartment. 


The pain of what I saw in those years has haunted my heart. With the passing of my father in law, I feel its time to expose some of what I have seen to help you to make better decisions for your loved ones.  Most care giving sites are sponsored by nursing home and independent living organizations that may be helpful but do not tell you some of the darker side of these places and the care they give the patients.


Commander Kenneth Freer and my husband, Marty, his only son during his last Christmas.
Commander Kenneth Freer and my husband, Marty, his only son.

What this blog offers for those with the question,”  What are we going to do with mom or dad?” 

Answers and Insight in Care Giving for Families!


How do we go down this path with dignity?  I need answers! 

This is insight from the caregiver who has experienced so many things that are wrong and disturbing from private care giving to working in nursing home facilities.

Insight on the decision of caring for them in their home, your home, or other facilities.

Who in your family will take care of them and is their personality suited to being a care giver?

Hired caregivers, the good, the bad and the really bad of hiring them and keeping them honest.  Hiring agencies and what you need to know. How to safeguard your loved ones and their property.


The truth about dying in the lock up dementia units of these facilities. Again, this comes from being there and seeing it happen over and over.

Articles on some of the problems affecting the elderly including vitamin deficiencies, drug induced dementia, drug reactions specific to the elderly, medications that are over prescribed, and  problems that relate to other physical conditions.

Pointers on the money end of things and how nursing homes work which can bankrupt you if you are not aware of them 5 years before you need the services.

This is a new blog so please come back for

Answers and Insight in Care Giving for Families which may save you money and heartache.


Our Families Story

In the 1980’s was my first experience with agony of the legal aspects of care giving. This couple had no children and were aging. I became friends with the man who was a writer and his wife.  He had some paralysis and she was losing her memory. They decided to move into a nearby assisted living/nursing home facility. It was only a few weeks later that bills were not getting paid, there were complaints about their little dog and her memory getting worse. They asked me to become power of attorney for them. That resulted in trying to get them better care from the staff, fighting the staff on everything from cockroaches to flooding on their room. 

IN 2000, I was running a paper which ended due to a company take over.  With no income coming in, I applied for my first care giving job with an agency. During the eight years that followed I took care of patients from different agencies, several private jobs, and as a private care giver in a expensive assisted living facility.  What I saw and experienced during those years tore my heart apart from violations in the nursing homes to the general treatment given elderly patients that cannot speak for themselves in many cases.

In 2004, I met my husband whose father was a retired Navy commander, a pistol even before destructive dementia and chronic leukemia set in about 2012. During the time period between 2012 and 2015 he was our main conversation every day on what to do to keep him from damaging his financial bank-count and his health. He would not allow us to give him any advice or help. That lead to financial destruction.

In 2015 we took him back to live with us in TN. He lived with us for a year, then we moved him to his own apartment with myself as his care giver.

In 2018, that became a full time job for me until 5 weeks before he passed away. Those 5 weeks in the lock up unit of the dementia ward still trouble my heart. 

So much needs to be told to you the family who is contemplating what do we do with our parents as they age.